{"id":2195,"date":"2000-02-23T14:05:20","date_gmt":"2000-02-23T22:05:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bandworld.org\/Articles\/?p=2195"},"modified":"2018-02-27T17:42:15","modified_gmt":"2018-02-28T01:42:15","slug":"39-steps-to-low-contest-ratings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/39-steps-to-low-contest-ratings\/","title":{"rendered":"39 Steps to Low Contest Ratings"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

If you follow carefully this random list, you will be guaranteed a IV, III, or II rating at the festival. If you observe 90 percent or more you can earn a IV; 50 percent will get you by with a III. It is possible to earn a II if you follow only 25 percent. Face the bitter truth that if you adhere to only 10 or 15 percent, you might receive a superior.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Never pay attention to 2nd and 3rd clarinet and trumpet parts or inner voices.<\/li>\n
  2. Never encourage students to play the horn. After beats are no fun.<\/li>\n
  3. Pay attention to mouthpieces. Any old one will do.<\/li>\n
  4. Never hurt an oboe players feelings. Let them ruin your performance.<\/li>\n
  5. Be sure your flutes play sharp, especially C#.<\/li>\n
  6. Keep it a secret about sharp and flat partials on brass instruments.<\/li>\n
  7. Never use a third valve slide.<\/li>\n
  8. Be sure that the tubas play all short notes too long.<\/li>\n
  9. Never connect notes in legato passages.<\/li>\n
  10. Never separate staccato notes.<\/li>\n
  11. Always assume that an accent means hit it hard.<\/li>\n
  12. At all costs avoid dynamic contrasts.<\/li>\n
  13. Be sure to allow tied and dotted notes to run into the next note.<\/li>\n
  14. Never separate accented notes.<\/li>\n
  15. Always allow short notes to attach themselves to the preceding note.<\/li>\n
  16. If it says ff, be sure that everyone is playing ff.<\/li>\n
  17. If a solo is indicated to be playing pp, be sure no one hears it.<\/li>\n
  18. Let all sustained tones sag at the end.<\/li>\n
  19. Spend too much time on scales; a bored band is a happy band.<\/li>\n
  20. Always play scales loud and never let the students hear themselves.<\/li>\n
  21. Be sure that the trumpets play loud enough to cover everyone.<\/li>\n
  22. Never play a chorale, but if you do, make it a complicated one like in a lot of sharps.<\/li>\n
  23. Choose too difficult music. It will impress the judge.<\/li>\n
  24. Be sure to always conduct never teach.<\/li>\n
  25. Always let the melody be covered by something else.<\/li>\n
  26. Encourage poor posture\u2014slouching, elbows on knees, legs crossed, etc.<\/li>\n
  27. Never practice your own instrument or play for your students.<\/li>\n
  28. Be sure the woodwinds have sufficient broken reeds. Never have a \u201cset-up\u201d with a specific place for each chair and student.<\/li>\n
  29. Don\u2019t number music folders, or label them or have a place for them.<\/li>\n
  30. Pass out music only at rehearsals. Better yet, let a student with grade and attitude problems do it. 32. Always be sure that your rehearsal is cluttered with books, coats, broken instruments, music, etc.<\/li>\n
  31. Keep a friendly rehearsal environment. Let everyone talk all the time.<\/li>\n
  32. Never start or stop rehearsal on time. Parents and teachers like this.<\/li>\n
  33. Be sure that you never hurt a troublemaker’s feelings by suggesting that he\/she leave the rehearsal.<\/li>\n
  34. Always assume that judges are dishonest, incompetent or prejudiced.<\/li>\n
  35. Don\u2019t keep a bulletin board. It is better to take time to answer each student\u2019s questions individually.<\/li>\n
  36. Never, never study a score. It is better to learn from the first reading.Never learn from a colleague; they are surely out to get you.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    GOOD LUCK!<\/strong> There are many more ways to qualify for a low rating but that will have to wait for a later edition.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      If you follow carefully this random list, you will be guaranteed a IV, III, or II rating at the festival. If you observe 90 percent or more you can earn a IV; 50 percent will get you by with a III. It is possible to earn a II if you follow only 25 percent. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":2199,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-philosophy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2195"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2200,"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2195\/revisions\/2200"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2199"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bandworld.org\/magazine\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}